I know I said I'd edit, But I got sidetracked. as I always seem to do as of late. 
How is everyone? I talk to some of you once in a while. So I've got a good idea but It's still nice to hear back about it. It's weird, I'm one of those people that asks 'How are you doing?' because I do want to know, I want to hear about it. Not just to make headway into the conversation. 

As for me. Fuck it.  I'm surprised I'm not mentally depressed to the point where I get locked up. Still no job but I finished school. The entire house has no money, I have no job/no money and I'll be kicked out in December. I've also got almost no medical supplies and no money to buy more. Food is low. And I only have internet because it's on a per-month basis. In-fact it should run out here in a bit. Same thing with my phone. Life's been constantly running into the shitter this past two years. Lost my job, Lost the single most important person in my life, Lost my sanity. The only good thing is me finishing college.

Anyways, I need. I don't know. I need out. I'm struggling to hold on to my sanity right now as it is. I'm thinking, Move somewhere far away, LA maybe. Live there and just start the fuck over. Nothing left holding me back. As it stands I've really no reason to stay here NOW. If anything I've got a reason to leave. Which would be point C: That woman issue. I'm not even going to go into that. I'm just tired of being told one thing yet nothing gets done about it. I'm tired of putting myself on the line for a "Please hold" fuck it. I'll just take these memories with me.  

TL;DR; life sucks huge amounts of balls. Yet here I am calm and hyper. I'm taking it all in stride and just slowly planning my next move. I'm not even depressed about it O_o. Sad, A little. Stressed? Yes. Mad? A little bit yeah. Depressed? no. Needing pity? No. It must be a mental condition. I just know I need something to change. Now. But I know sitting on my ass and crying about it does NOTHING. So I might aswell do something about it. Altho it's hard to really tell myself that looking for jobs 10+hours a day online and in the paper and checking up with places is "doing something" since I get nowhere 90% of the time.
I picked a bad time to quit.

 FINE! you all read this. All.. Three of you. I'll edit this to say something spiffy once I get another 4 pots of coffee inside of me.

Oh you liquid laxative/blackgold. I need you. To be inside of me. So I can feel your warmth inside as I ingurgitate you into my throat.


Sidenote: Fuck you spell check, that's a word. I know it is. Don't make me look it up.

 Does anyone even read this anymore? :U

 I;
Turn gods into men.
Turn Men into gods.
Make the ugly duckling into a swan.
Make the swan into the drawbridge troll.
Cast nations into war.
Set world peace.
Will make you kill
Will make you save.
Watch as you go to hell for me.
Watch as you destroy angels for me.
Make the coldest day seem like summer.
And the brightest into the darkest.
Know no distance.
But can be taken away by a move across town.
Turn scribbles into masterwork.
Turn masterwork into yesterdays kindling.
Make time stand still.
Make tomorrow come yesterday.
Ask you to punch your friend.
Ask you to kiss your foe.
Tell you to kill yourself.
Tell you to live for me.
Help you to sleep at night
Keep you awake for all time.
Let you dream the most pleasant.
Will make you curse a nightmare.
Make you shed tears of both joy and sadness.
Get you angry for no reason.
Calm your fears.
Make you hurt yourself to protect me.
Hurt myself to protect you.
Am everywhere
Am hard to find.
Am never found when looking for.
Am found when you least expect it.

---If you've figured it out and have more for me to add here, let me know <3--

Why does LJ have issues with cut pasting? -_-'
[02:44:31] Congratulations, you have reached level 80!
[02:44:31] You have gained 515 hit points.
[02:44:31] You have gained 1 talent point.
[02:44:31] Your Strength increases by 3.
[02:44:31] Your Agility increases by 2.
[02:44:31] Your Stamina increases by 4.
[02:44:31] Your Intellect increases by 1.
[02:44:31] Your Spirit increases by 1.
[02:44:31] [Shambamamba] has earned the achievement [Level 80]!

Hell yeah! Now I got me a 80 healer and an 80 tank. 

I still have no idea how the fuck to DPS, tho. Altho it seems basic enough. Firebad.

It's 5:30am, and I've got a LONG day ahead of me -_-'

PS, I haven't slept because I had shit to do. So rather, it's been a long day and it's only kinda half over.

 So as I sit here and think up of a subject line, waiting for monday to roll around so I can keep back to finding a job I'm going to fucking love, I thought I'd rant a bit and share some insight with the. Eah. Four of you who read this shit. (I've noticed it's a lot MORE since I've gotten lazy and taken it off friends only. But nobody gives me feedback except to spam my email or AIM asking questions.)
First off. Fuck jobs. Seriously I lost count of how many days I've been busting my ass trying to find an awesome job.  Shits getting downright depressing. Nobody can even afford to hire. I've been told by a couple of managers that they would kill to have me, except they can't even pay the staff they have right now. the manager at CVS, Where I applied to be a Chemical Medication Task manager (Big title). Said that shes fucking pissed at her company. She doesn't even have a Chemical medication worker. Which by law states that she cannot. Under any way shape or form make about 50% of medications for hospitals, Hospice homes or at care places. So she lost about 50% of her profits. It's catch 22. She needs to first HIRE a person who can do the task. But she can't do that without more profit. But she can't get profit without one of them. Shes tried to talk to the area manager of this area. However he's been on VACATION FOR THREE WEEKS, NOW.   IN FRANCE.  She needs to make at least 4,000 more a week in order to hire one of those workers, who in turn will net her about 15,000 in profits. Talk about biting nails.  She has applied to her company manager for the area about 6-10 times a month. Asking for a worker who can do that which will be on their payroll for about 4 weeks, then she pays the company back and everyone is happy. It's a thing she is able to do BECAUSE CVS bought her out. But they've yet to support her when 25% of her net profits go to them. Contracts prevent her from saying "Fuck this!" however.  Seriously I hear a like story every time I apply to a place. The workers and pharmacy managers are getting ripped off, having to let people go while the big guys sit there and gloat that they are making more money. Fun times!
Secondly, A friend of mine just quit her job. At 1,000 a week that's a hefty blow in my opinion. However not going into details. I think it can be summed up with the question. How much is your soul and happiness worth? Some people would offer to eat out Lucifer in order to make 2,000 every two weeks. Others cannot mentally and emotionally afford to take that kind of blow.  Honestly it's hard giving advice. I wanted to tell her to walk away, Right now. But I had to be supportive. Either way the least I can do is support whatever she wants to do. This choice hasn't been a snap of the fingers easy thing to do. Last thing anyone in that spot needs is another person narking on you saying "I told you so". In that position, wouldn't you rather have someone who has your back saying "It's okay, I'm here for whatever you need. Let's get though this. It's a rough spot and we'll work it out so later on you'll be able to stand there and say 100% without a doubt that what you did was the right call."?  I want to point out this doesn't mean anyone I can consider a friend can make a choice that I'll support. If you do something fucking retarded. I'll chew you the fuck out. Don't fuck up and do your best, and we'll be good. yeah?

Anyways, to blow off the day and calm down as I drink a beer and eat dinner I play WoW. I know. shocking. *eyeroll* anyways. I've been wondering why people roll a class, and then take one of three paths that said class can take.
Granted there are some people who are exclusions to this, however at a glance I see this;
Priest - 
-Holy ; wanted to be able to sit there and help people out. Mashing their keys and preventing anyone from eatting shit. A valued support person.
- Disc ; wanted to be the eye of the storm, always calm and preventing damage from happening in the first place. or maybe they wanted to make force fields and shoot lasers.
- Shadow ; wanted to play a class that's easy as fuck to level because they can technically be a healer (Altho they suck balls at it) yet really just wanted to sit there and destroy shit for their e-peen.

Paliden - 
Holy; Fags
Prot; Fags
Ret; 12year old fags who think it's funny to run away after pulling 40 monsters and wiping the group.

Hunters: 
See above.

Rogues;
Sub ; wanted something more than just PEW PEW LESS QQ. to be good at this you >NEED< to take advantage of what's in front of you.
Combat: wanted to kill shit for e-peen.
Mutalite: wanted to show everyone how awesome they are for being able to pull off the singlehandly highest DPS ever. Press 1, 2 if not dead press 1, 2, if not dead. Cry about it.

Shamans: 
-Resto; wanted to heal with amazing jesus beams.
- Elemental; wanted to be able to sit there and press more than 5 buttons, yet be able to heal to prevent shit from hitting the fan if needed.
-Enchantment: See hunters.

Death Knights:
Got bored of leveling a huntard, though it'd be cool to grab a cool sounding name and not die as easy. Still fucking retarded, tho.

Warlocks; 
Emo fags.

Mages: 
wanted to press 1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1 all day. Seriously. They just sit there and throw fireballs all fucking day. THEN tell everyone how awesome they are for pressing ONE button.

Warriors:
Prot; wanted to be a real tank. Having to use more than one button like a fagadin. And having to make sure they are using the right skills at the right times.
Arms: 1,1,2,2,3,3,1,1,2,2,3,3 look at my high dps. lul.
Fury: wanted to bash faces in, but not wanted something as easy as arms. End of the day, on a 1;1, someone is dead. No bubblehearthing for these bitches. It's do or die and making sure that the one dead isn't the healer. Of all DPS classes, they have my respect. I've seen countless fury warriors scream "over my dead(dead-er if they are a forsaken) fucking body bitch!" and take a fucking nuke up the ass to ensure I stay alive on my priest.

Druids:
Feral: wanted to furry.
Tree: The only healing spect where you can toss heal over times on everyone and fucking afk as you take a shit. No lie.
Boomkin; I don't even know why people play these fuckers. damage always sucks, but in world pvp it's the best way to go. If you're about to die, turn into a bird and gtfo.  Every single one of these I see in pvp always runs away at 20% health left. I think theres a "OMGIMGONNADIEFDIS" nerdrage addon that just lets you fly away.

That's pretty much it. 99% of the time when I group up with one of the above. I can tell you what's going on. 

 
Shit made me laugh.

 Ironicy, my priest got 80 right before the new years.
All in all it HAS been a long and strange trip this year. To quote a movie "When you woke up this morning, did you ever dream, ever imagine that this would happen today?" Putting that into a year long saga, I had no idea.

Starting with new years last year. I had a job at the boys and girls club. Working with a woman who've I've known for let's see. ... wow. 10 years now. She didn't know this at the time. But I've also loved her for half of those years. But I never, ever thought I'd have a chance. You know the friend zone. Try as I might I could never make those feelings go away. Not from lack of trying. We spent 3 long years not talking to one another. I remember the day we started talking again. I just called her for no reason. She picked up and within seconds we were joking around and having fun like it was yesterday. 

On my new years party last year. On that day, 1,1,2009. Dom started me on World of Warcraft. He had a Warlock who loved pvp. Or player vs player. He was always raiding and told me that the world needs more healers, more people who stand in the line of fire and make sure everyone is alive. He joked at said I'd be good enough when I let myself die just to keep the party alive. I thought he was kidding. ... he wasn't.  I rolled an undead priest. And to this day, I have never ever gone shadow. Out of the three "Modes" of priests, there is "Displine" which upgrades all your buffs to the party, and puts a lot of power into your instant heals and survivablity. "Holy" is an all out healing type. It gets crazy the amount of diffrent types of heals I have. "Shadow" focuses on your damaging skills, your damage skyrockets at a price. Your healing and buffing spells will suck, and at later levels you can't even cast a heal.
From texting kara, the woman mentioned above. She gathered that I had made a priest. Within seconds she was online. That was the first time I saw her ingame, She was on a >really< cute troll shaman. She laughed at me and challenged me to a duel.
I won. Well, more like she ran out of range and ended it. Which defaulted into me winning. After much laughter. I'll never forget this moment, As nerdy as it is. It changed my life. She said "Honey, I'll be right back." and logged out. I remember sitting there in town looking around. All of the sudden I get a poke from behind. I turn around and there is a level 1 Female undead warrior winking at me. She rolled this little powerhouse to level with me.
To this day, anything I've done in wow. Was either for her little warrior, or with it.


This changed a lot of stuff. We started talking about wow at work, annoying the kids there with our "1337" talk about heals and stuff. I can't really put into words the feeling I got of "This is something just we have" it still makes me all warm inside thinking of it. She'd come over to my house. unload her laptop on my bed. And we'de nerd out and play wow together. There was never a tense moment, or an angry one. You could feel the happiness and mirth from miles away.

Then, we both knew it would happen. Friday night, Jan ninth, 2009. We got drunk, made out, And then did what both of us had been wanting to do for a while. She dosn't recall, but being a guy. I know it was twice.
The next morning there was a lot of "Uhh, so. I'm gonna drive home now... uhh call me later?" And I did, about 3pm I called her. And as usual with us, within seconds we were laughing. Still friends but more connected now. I never told her I loved her, ever. We wen't dating I guess. Everytime I got a little closer to her, to the point I felt like I could tell her how I really felt. She backed up. So the timing was never right.
Mid June we broke it off, too much had changed and she was getting kicked out. I had left the boys and girls club at this point. even thinking about it makes me sad, now.
Well, about 3 weeks later. I said fuck this, with pain in my heart over the loss of her. I went to see her at work. When she got off I took her into her car and told her how I felt. I remember the second when the world just... Stopped for me. Everything just... Stopped. She had started to date abe 5 days before I told her. To this day, I still don't fault her one bit. She felt like she wanted a relationship with someone, not this friends thing.
Glossing over the sheer amount of unhappyness in this section of my life. Turns out she loved me back. And now. One year later. We are deeper than ever before. She is more important to me than anyone else in the world. And I know she feels the same. (Altho not as strong, I do have a few years of a headstart on her)

Friday, August seventh, 2009. A dear old friend of mine passed away after succumbing to a genetic brain defect that the tests kept showing he didn't have intill the day after he passed away. I still miss him, That friend was Dom.  With him gone I realize just how big of a part he was in my life. He was huge. It still feels like I've been ripped apart a little. 

November 19th. 2009, I finished school. Forever. I've got a pretty degree in Biochemical medicine and Apothecary. With that, I've got stuff set. 

All in all. it's been a long, and strange trip. Full of heart wrenching moments and times when it feels like my soul is on fire with happiness.

With that, I wish you all luck for 2010. As I was thinking this time last year. Who knows what this year will hold. I don't.
But I look forward to finding out.

( A momento of the epic adventures of Mambashamba in 2009. From level 1 to level 80. Also theres a LOT of pictures. beware. )
 

 WHY BLIZZARD WHY?!

I don't like tanking this instance:
( For this reason right here. NSFANYONE )